Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
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No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
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How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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