the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
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I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
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Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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