so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
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