and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize