rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
