i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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