Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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