If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Randomize