i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize