i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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