the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
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