party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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