it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
