Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
