That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I have aggressive nipples.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
