you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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