Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
