You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
