There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
