i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
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You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
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Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
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