You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
