it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
