you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
His nipple licking is glorious
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