In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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