just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
