birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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