Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
