i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
