Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
