I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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