please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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