I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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