Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
