My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
