Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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