you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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