3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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