I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize