dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
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It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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