she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I believe in your delicious
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
