i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
