The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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