I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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