Swine flu. Run for my life!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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