You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
