I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
