I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
