You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
