WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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