Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
