omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
