i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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