Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
