Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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