so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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