fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
